The transcript of Evil Returns.

Written by Jack Del Rio

Scene 1 Edit

(Zoom out of the bubbles of a washing machine, revealing Dr. Brainstorm and Jack are standing right next to it)

Jack: (sarcastically) Oh, boy. Another machine of yours. (cut to Jack) Sorry, but washing machines have already been invented.

(Cut to the two standing next to the washing machine)

Dr. Brainstorm: What? No! Well, um... Yeah, sure, this is a washing machine, but it's a washing machine DISGUISED as my next EVIL PLAN! (laughs like a maniac)

(zoom in to Dr. Brainstorm's face. The screen becomes more red, and fire surrounds him. The red and the fire exits from the right, making a squeaky sound. Dr. Brainstorm stops laughing and notices the red and fire went away. Cut to the two, revealing that the red screen was on wheels.)

Jack: Good gravy, that's quite enough. (Fade to red. Theme song plays)

Scene 2 Edit

(Fade back in after the commercials)

Dr. Brainstorm: Well, time to get this this thing working. (Cut to the washing machine. Dr. Brainstorm sits down so he can take a closer look.) Now how does this thing work?!

Jack: Well, you tell me. You made it, like, five minutes ago. Anyway, what is this thing, exactly?!

Dr. Brainstorm: This is my (Red screen and fire appears again) REVIVE-O-TRON! (laughs evilly, red and fire exits again) It can revive ANYONE!

Jack: Who are you thinking of reviving?

(Dr. Brainstorm blinks. Cut to a short montage of the Snow Goons dieing in Snow Goon Showdown, Dark Calvin dieing in Calvin and Hobbes, and a brand-new animated version of Calvin's Good Side getting destroyed in the comic. Cut back to the scene.)

Dr. Brainstorm: Yeah, I dunno. I don't even know how this machine WORKS!

Jack: Well, you at least need their DNA. That's the only thing I know.

Dr. Brainstorm: Hey! I've got a DNA copier on my supercomputer right here. (Cut to the supercomputer. He open the program)

Jack: (facepalm) I told you too much.

Dr. Brainstorm: Now, who to copy... Ah! Yes. Those two Anti Calvins and the snow things. Let's copy!

(He types in "Anti Calvin #1" on the program. An error occurs.)

Dr. Brainstorm: WHAT?!

Jack: Okay, I'll help you just ONE more time... only because you're so whiney when you forget. Their names are "Snow Goons", "Dark Calvin", and "Calvin's Good Side". Now I'm gonna go read the newest issue of Robots Weekly. (Walks away)

Dr. Brainstorm: YES! (Types in the names, gets the DNA, and throws it in the washing machine) Let's hope this works... (Cut to the washing machine.)

Scene 3 Edit

(Soon the machine spits out 7 clones of Calvin. A fat one, one with glasses, one hiding in his shirt, one that looks normal, one that is just is a purple shadow with red eyes, and one with combed black hair. Cut to three dupes.)

Dupe 3: Man, am I starving! Where's the nearest vending machine?

Dupe 5: I don't want get out of my safe spot. (shivers) We're probably in some torture lab.

Dupe 4: maybe, but somehow we were turned back into our original form, but with some modifications from our original designs.

(Meanwhile, the three other Calvins were discussing evil things. Cut to the five of them.) 

Dark Calvin: So you evaporated because you had a evil thought. How pathetic.

Calvin's Good Side: Well, it seems that due to my revival I can now have evil thoughts and not die.

Dr. Brainstorm: (on a banaster talking to Jack) You said his name was "Calvin's Good Side"?!

Jack: Yeah, anything wrong about that?

Dr. Brainstorm: Sounds boring. I'll call him "Anti Calvin"! (laughs again, with the whole red and fire thing (see above))

Jack: Can we stop with the fire thing please the animators are going have to reuse that so many times

Dupe 2: Well, because all have a revenge against Calvin. How about all three of us team up to kill him?

Dark Calvin: What about your brothers? (points to Dupes 3, 4, 5, and 6)

Dupe 6: I been itching for fight all day!

(Cut to Dupe 2's face, where Dupe 4 is still visible in the background.)

Dupe 2: No, they will just make us mess up like the smartypants over there talking making things for world peace.

(Cut to the other dupes)


Dupe 3: I'LL EAT YOU!

Dupe 2: Fine! You three can help!

Dupe 3: Can I eat you anyway?

Dark Calvin: NO!

Scene 4 Edit

Dark Calvin(thinking): For now I have to work for this Brainstorm guy, but I'll betray him and save Calvin for later.

Dr. Brainstorm: JUST GET HIM!

(As the dupes and snow goons head out of the laboratory, Dark Calvin makes a announcement)

Dark Calvin: Snow goons and dupes, I have a better plan than killing Calvin, and that dupe (points to Dupe 4) has our answer. (he gives Dupe 4 a dollar and whispers to him) Make me a time machine like Calvin's and some anti melting belts for the snow goons and I won't kill you and your brothers.

Dupe 4: I'll get right to work on it, sir!

Scene 5Edit

(More coming soon)

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